Adore You

I'm out of sight,
So you can't see.
I stand here,
Watching you,
admiring thy.

Its amazing to know,
You belong to me.
At least, for now.
we will be,
united as one.

In company.
I used to pretend
not to notice.
I used to look away
when you used to look at me.

afraid to be seen,
Or not to be seen.

But now your mine
and looking is now fine.
As I sit,
watch,
And adore you
all the time.

The Sun

The Sun.
It beams down
on my face.
It's so much better
Then the gloomy day.

It beams down
and makes me smile.
Sent by the creator,
To brighten my day.

It helps,

 make things seem clear.
It makes everything
seem dear.

I thank God
for the sun,
It makes me glad,
I'm here.

I smile as it,
And the light
takes away my fear.

Postnatal Love

I cried at night,
not knowing
what to do for you.
I tried so hard,
To feel this love.

Instead I felt rejected
and unloved.
I tried to understand,
But you cried to much.
I tried so hard,
but it was never enough.

This small child,
i wanted so much.
This connection i longed for.
This child i prayed for,
The one i dreamt of suckling,
But in reality,
He didn't want it from me.

I wanted to feel love,
but instead,
i felt isolated
and lonely.
I didn't want anyone
to know.
I didn't want it to show.

And the bystander's.
What would they say
if they knew.
I couldn't cope that day.
Would they point and judge,
they would criticise me.

how can anyone
understand.
this depression
that was at hand.
the uselessness i felt,
When Inside i was hoping
My heart would melt.

Postnatal love,
       that could not be felt.

Days When I'm Failing

Bored........
But how can i be.
There so much to do,
But nothing is getting done.

My attention is always wanted.
I have no time to think,
almost on auto-pilot,
I cater for their needs.
always wanting,
always asking.


I want,
I want,
I want...


I need to organise
so i have so time for me.
Just to get the house work done,
I have to plan ahead.
sometimes i can't wait,
for when it's time for bed.

I want,
I want,
I want.

But how can it be,
I can't entertain continuously.
Then when i say NO.

                   Its wring,
                          wring,
                             wring.
                                    moan,
                                        moan,
                                     moan.

I remind myself
constantly.
It's a test,  It's a test.
It's a trial and a test.



But on some days,
when i get no rest.
I feel like I'm failing,
I feel like a complete mess

My sins are secret

.

My sins are secret,
they are only
there for me.
Only i can see,
the demon.
deep inside me.
Hiding away.
Secretly,
Seeking a way.
to come
out to play.
But i dont give in.
I keep them
restained within.
Contained
inside my brain.
So no one,
ever see's
 The real me.
The true
Demon within

I don't want love to die

I don't want to leave your side,
i don't want to leave you behind.
As much as i hate,
 to say good bye.
we all have to move on.
sometime.

when our lives change,
when we grow apart.
Lets leave it,
and call it quits.
Before one of us,
gets left in a ditch.
Before the love turns to dust,
before the heart departs.

lets end it now,
 before that day,
before you let me down.
before I'm left in the crowd,
with only strangers around.

I don't want to leave your side.
I don't want to leave you behind.
As much as i hate to say good bye
I just don't want this love to die.

Alone

I stand by myself,
I stand on my own.
I came into the world alone
And that's how i  will leave.

Is love real,
do they care.
people only want
what they can take,
not wanting to share.
Maybe they will,
Stick around to see
 what they can get.

and if not,
they all go astray,
never here to stay.

one abandoned
on the bay.
My heart turned to clay.
I stand here alone,
As a stranger,
Just a traveller.

im all alone
in this world,
on my own.
And thats,
 how i will leave.

Its not real

I see beauty in you.
I see the love
within your eyes.
Time and space
stand still.
I'm lost in you,
I know i shouldn't be
fooled by the lie.

This is not
how it supposed to be.
you having power over me.
Until i cant see.
unable to
see the truth,
that lies beneath.

but i choose to
ignore it.
I choose to ignore
the signs.
The message behide.


this beauty is a lie.
A lie to fool me.
this love is not real,
but its all i see,
a mirage,
wanting the mirror image,
that no longer exists.
Its no longer for me.

The mask

I feel sick,
to think.
I got tricked by you.
your not so squeaky clean.

Your coat now tarnished.
your disguise now,
disappeared.
And now I see the lies,
the truth behind the disguise.

the true face
behind the mask.
The one looking at me,
through the glass.

I should have learnt,
from the mistakes
in the past.

Maybe I should have asked!

Why Forbidden

God made things forbidden,
for a very good reason.
sins are sins,
Because they cause,
harm, pain and oppression.

Leaving the heart the bleed,
until there is no hope,
and eventually,
no faith remains.

The heart,
Then,
turns black and dies.
leaving no good inside.

The one diseased
is left to wonder,
wonder alone,
lost
In this cold, dark world.

Dont waste

Don't waste time,
on people,
who brings you down,
Who makes you frown.
Who don't keep you strong.
The one who never tell you,
when you are wrong.

I wish i was good.

Its hard work being a good girl,
And i wish i was.
I wish i was completely sinless,
So i wouldnt have to answer.
For all the bad things iv done.
For all the bad things iv said.
                                                
Im just glad,
I wont have to answer
for the dark thoughts,
 I hide inside.
unaccountable.
for the demons in my mind.

 I keep them all secret.
Keep them all within.
I promise to never reveal it.
For their the darkess Sin.

Late March

.

A white blanklet,
covers the land.
crystals shining
Cold and bright



To make the earth look light.
A sea of white.
To much to cover the night.
Snow in late march,
Is such a beautiful sight.

My hidden side

My hidden side

Is serpressed.

I want to show

All of me.

But it is a secret

out of place.

My true intentions,

My true self.

Hidden from the world.

 to avoid being disgraced.

Did you?

There was a period of time,
when you never spoke to me.
And when i spoke to you,
you would blank me,
like i wasnt even there.

So i found it easier
not to communicate
to stay silent.
To wait for you to come to me.
wondering if it was me,
you were really disliking.

Abdu's poem

Pretty kiss curls
and a perfect face.
your laughter
brings me to tears.                                       
your humour
so comical.
Your smile would lighten
the darkess day.

Your my gift
from the creator
and one i treasure.
you bring me
many days of pleasure
and happiness.

The stranger

Oh your looking crazy,
its so amazing.
when you fantasise about murder.
Your just like a hunter
with eyes blazing,
Is this your desire?

Hate is your Decay,
Cant you just wait
while i give you some space.
Aint i part of the human race.
Instead you look at me in disgrace.




I had never before
 seen your face.
But yet you want to destroy me,
torture me till im dead.
Too dream and watch
as you smash my head.

In Islam, we learn

learn to think before you speak,
learn not gossip or backbite.
learn not to curse,
Learn to say nice things about people.
Learn to walk away when you cant.
Learn to control your tougue.


learn to lower the gaze,
learn not to look at pretty men.
learn not to look at nudity.
learn to say NO
When the opposite sex offers their hand.
learn not to be friends with them either,
avoid being alone with them.
learn not for fornacate.


As a women,
We,
learn to cover up our beauty,
we cover up our hair
and our body shape.
We supress our character,
Never show our true selves.
We learn not to be naked

.

the oppressor

I was hoping you were going away,

To start a new life ,

I thought you would be gone

By the end of may.

The things you do,

Causes my dismay.

 

What do you gain

By causing pain.

You cant just restrain,

And hope you will gain.

 

I was hoping never

To see you again,

But yet your here

In my face

Getting in my space.

Cant you just find another place.

To show your disgrace.

Future Considered

I don’t know what the future holds,

Im not quite sure where it lends.

I stand here at a cross roads,

Wondering which way is going to lead.

Not much time to  concider,

It seems to fly by so fast.

Whats the best thing for me.

If only i had time to ask.

Which is wrong,

And Which is right.

And if i get lost

Will i be able to

find the light.

shy arrogance

Ignore if you wish,

look down as though your the one,

you think everyone should look up to you,

and admire you.

but what have you ever done.

You act as though

you,ve never really loved anyone,

your to full of yourselve to care.

I always wanted to be there

But to tell you the truth

my repect will never be there.

not for you - not ever.

Im not the one who scared

The perfect husband

The perfect husband
is kind and gentle,
honest and funny.
He doesn't oppress
or belittle her.
He gives her liberitie
in speech
to speak her mind.
He doesn't shout her down
or make her feel unimportant.
he gives her freedom,
and doesn't let his power
go to his head.
locking her up like an animal.
he asks for her opinion,
and understands her needs.
he loves her unconditionally
and excepts her faults,
and doesn't try to change her

Forever be mine

As the sun rises

My heart beats

Is Decisive,

Rapid with the heat.

I have to take a sit.

His beauty is so sweet.

A still image to capture

Your beauty frozen,

Frozen in time.

Forever be mine,

In this and the next life.

( insha allah)

Quotations

say:

He has power to send torment on you from above,

or from under your feet,

or cover you with confusion in party strife

and make you taste the violence of one other


Quran 6; 65-67

you cant

You cant always have it your own way.

You cant always have what you want babe.

You may think its good for you.

But in the end.

It will destroy you.